Meet The Lears
Welcome to the royal mess that is the Lear family—where betrayal is a hobby, love is conditional, and the crown is basically a hot potato.
King Lear
The Drama King Extraordinaire
This guy's retirement plan? Divide his kingdom among his daughters and hope for a little affection. Spoiler: It goes horribly wrong. Picture your grandpa trying to play favorites with his kids—only this time, there's a throne and way more yelling involved. Known for making big decisions, regretting them immediately, and storming off dramatically into the rain.
Lear: "I’m just asking for love and a few flattering words, is that too much to ask?!"
Answer: Yes, Lear. Yes, it is.
Goneril and Regan
Goneril
Eldest Daughter, Professional Power Grabber
Goneril’s life motto is “Why ask for what you can just take?” She's all about seizing control—of kingdoms, relationships, and probably the TV remote. Don't expect sympathy from her; the only thing colder than her heart is the way she ghosted her dad after getting half the kingdom.
Goneril: "Thanks for the land, Dad. Now do us all a favor and scram."
-----------------
Regan
The Middle Child with an Attitude Problem
Regan is the type who thrives on conflict. Picture someone who always orders the spiciest dish just to prove a point. She’s Goneril’s ride-or-die—until things get complicated, and then it's every queen for herself. She's sharp-tongued, fiercely competitive, and knows how to stir the pot like it’s her birthright.
Regan: "Sisterly love is overrated. Kingdoms? Now that’s worth fighting for."
Cordelia
The Honest One, aka Family Outcast
Cordelia’s the kind of person who’ll tell you your new haircut is “interesting” instead of lying. Naturally, this brutal honesty gets her disinherited. But hey, who needs a kingdom when you’ve got morals? Tragically, her reward for being the most genuine daughter is... absolutely nothing.
Cordelia: "I told the truth, and all I got was exiled. Cool, cool, cool."