It's not easy being a virgin in Athens

Let me tell you something, it's not easy being a virgin in Athens these days. My dad wants me to marry this guy who was totally hitting on my best friend last week! What am I supposed to do? I'm in love with Lysandra, and if daddy doesn't like it I'm just going to have to elope. It's a perfectly reasonable solution; lots of people do this. There are so many successful couples that ran off together... um... like that guy and gal from Verona? Totally cute, right? You're definitely invited to the big day - once we figure out the details. Right now I need to figure out what to wear on a hike through the woods so that I look good but also chaste. You can find my bridal registries are on West Elm and Tiffany, nothing too fancy you know?